I facilitated a group yesterday, the topic was Moving from Victim to Victorious. The clients wanted to know what actions they could take, what tools could they use to feel and own being victorious.
The students who survived the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida are an excellent example of the actions that you can take to be victorious in such a violent, painful and traumatic event. I salute them for their strength, determination, and courage. They have my full support in their efforts to change the laws. I'm so impressed with who they are choosing to be, they truly give me hope for the future. A heartfelt KUDOS to all of them and their families who are so supportive.
Here are some actions that we can all take to move from victim to victorious.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
Do you ever notice that when people are playing games, they do whatever it takes to win? They learn the rules and they lead with determination and a passion that is focused and direct.
Think about the gaming industry, the people in your life, yourself. Do you know anyone that doesn’t play some sort of game? Online games, Xbox, WII, Words with Friends? The gaming world takes up a lot of time, and it can be a great distraction from our individual lives. Many of us play games with more drive and intention than we use to be present in day to day life. Sometimes we don’t recognize the difference between reality and virtual reality.
This game of Transformation is designed to bring that distraction back to the focus of your life. You get to be a gamer in a new way… to play to win at your own life. To level up the happiness, health, peace, abundance/success, and love.
You are worthy and deserving of a fun life, filled with all the greatest feelings and experiences that life can bring. Be clear that there is a space within you that is perfect, whole and complete. Value yourself enough to find that center and grow it. You are the only one who can love you enough. This is an opportunity to relearn some rules and tools of living that you took on along the way. A chance to own your own thinking and your emotions in a whole new way.
In the game of your life, you are the main player and only you can find the solutions to create a great life.
As we play this empowerment game, it’s never ending. It doesn’t just take one turn and you are done, this is the game for the rest of your life - for the best of your life.
All the information and activities are designed to wake up the brain and structure a new pathway that is in alignment with your greatest intentions. It’s up to you to make the commitment to yourself on how you will play the game of your own life.
What is the most important thing? You! Yes, You! Not your kids, your family, friend, clients, job, period. If you don’t come first and be able to share from a place of your own fullness, what do you think you are giving to others. If you don’t come first, nothing else matters. You must be the most important part of your focus. When you play your game well, everyone around you benefits. This is a time to be “self-full”, it’s not selfish.
Think of your life like you are a character in a *Sims game. In the game you create an avatar that kind of represents you. What happens to your character in the game is up to you. You dress her/him, create a job, make valuable life choices, you create your children, what your home looks like, the hobbies you have and you also get to deal with what happens to you.
My daughter plays this game, and the one day her character was cooking and accidentally caught on fire. She died! It was tragic, and it could have been prevented. The great news is that she had another character immediately.
In real life, obviously, we don't get to be the new character immediately, just like that. The Empowerment game allows for us to have a "do over", an opportunity to create our own character to be stronger, more focused, and happier. The trick is to know how the game is played and make it happen.
I hear the craziest stories! My clients have had the widest range of situations, and sometimes it’s just extraordinary how they are even still on the planet with what they have had to face. As you’re reading this, you too have probably had extreme situations happen to you!
Much of the time the circumstance is not even about us, it’s something that someone else has done, said, or is experiencing. I have a very good friend that runs her own life very well, and many of the people she loves are experiencing debilitating life challenges. It gets to be exhausting when you’re worried about loved ones! The effects that worry, stress and anxiety have on the body are quite debilitating.
We all know and love people with addictions, ill health/dying/death, financial challenges and relationship problems. We invest our time, our words of encouragement, love, prayers, and money in the hope of making a difference. Doing that in too many ways can unfortunately deplete our own reserves and cause us to give too much to others at the expense of ourself.
We are all connected here on this earth, and at this moment there are so many people in the world experiencing hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, war, terrorism, etc. This goes out energetically to all, and it’s important to have tools in place to hold your own during this chaos.
When life gets completely out of hand it’s everything we can do to just keep our head above water.
In the Tools for Transformation there is a fix for this. The tool that is about moving your fear into your power is also about taking the challenges and moving into solutions. Here’s a sample for you!
You know that life requires an adjustment when you are:
∞ Feeling too emotional and not in control of your feelings.
o Apathetic, depressed, lacking energy and overly angry.
o Crying way too much.
o Getting overly snappy with those people we care about.
∞ Not able to manage a balance with eating, sleeping and physical activity.
o Not being able to get out of bed in the morning.
o Staying up too late. Waking in the night, not able to get back to sleep.
o Not able to muster energy for physical exercise.
o Eating too much, too little or just crappy nutrition less food.
∞ Experiencing too much ill health, pain and tightness in the body
o Dealing with unconscious, embarrassing compulsive behavior.
∞ Using drugs, alcohol, sex, smoking, food, etc. to be calm and distracted.
The good news is that you don’t have to live in this state.
Be compassionate with yourself and take this time to recognize that, this is where my life has
been parked for a while, and now it’s time to move on… with more conscious intention.
FOCUS ON THE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
TRANSFORMATION GAME RULES TO WIN AT LIFE
*Be deliberate and on purpose.
*Know what you want.
*Use every challenge as an opportunity to move up the board.
*Keep focused on all solutions to your challenges.
*Appreciate anything and everything.
*Be patient with yourself. This is a process, not an overnight miracle.
*Ask if you are not sure… there are answers.
*Be compassionate with yourself and others. We are all just trying to figure it all out.
*Choose your words, they are creative/destructive.
*Be intentional, honest, thoughtful and considerate.
*Focus on any and all good news.
*Hold bad news in your purposeful prayers.
*Keep moving up the emotional ladder. Move toward what makes you feel better.
*Take care of yourself first, then you can take care of others.
*Say NO when you want to… nicely, with a smile.
*Keep challenging yourself and adding to the “Do This” suggestions.
*Be present and honest with your feelings. No shoving things down.
*Follow your intuition.
*Look for anything to inspire you.
*Be Mighty and Brave.
* When you find yourself at the bottom, focus on what moves you up.
*Make your own additions to this list.
*Attend Audrey’s workshops, groups and see her individually if there’s a challenge that needs extra attention.
A question was broached to me on Facebook, “How do we move forward in our daily lives for the next 4 years without becoming overwhelmed, angry, frustrated...?”
A habit becomes a habit when you take part in a behavior that utilizes no conscious attention. You are simply doing “it” with no thinking. When you finally hit a point where the habit is making your life uncomfortable, it’s already ingrained, and no amount of self-talk will stop you from that action.
What is the first word that pops out at you?
Use that word for this next week. Think about how to use it in statements that are about empowering your life.
Our mind chatter is mostly unconscious, and much of the time focused on the negative aspects of life.
When I'm working with my clients, it's my job to notice within the conversation, the thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that they are creating their life from. This is the point of creation, and when I see that they are focused on the negative aspect of what's going on, I'm able to point out to them how they are creating what they don't want.
Whew! I don’t know about you, but I have a had a super busy moment!
I think a lot of us go through times that are just a constant “GO!”, and it’s really, really challenging to stay focused and centered. Stress and anxiety can take over and its gets to be where we hit that crash point and we get sick and tired, literally! We sometimes stay in this stuck place for so long that we just consider it natural… it’s just the way life is.